By Christopher Gabriel, Blog Harbor

Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain.  Super Tuesday II.  Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island and Vermont.  What are the polls saying?  Who scored better in the latest searing exchange between Barack and Hillary?  Has Barack renounced anyone today?  Has Hillary rejected anything?  Has John marginalized anyone?

None of those questions will be answered here in Blog Harbor today.  No, I’m more interested in a little thing called The Smile.

Barack, Hillary, John, professional athletes . . . they’ve all got The Smile.  You know the one.  Not the “Hi, it’s so good to see you!” smile you give your parents, a favorite aunt or uncle, your husband or wife after being away on business, a great friend you’ve not seen in years . . . no, not that smile.  The other smile.  It’s The Smile that’s often accompanied by The Laugh.

And let me say right up front: I’m sick of The Smile from these people.  I’m sick of The Smile from anyone. 

You see it all the time from professional athletes when a referee’s call goes against them.  That pained, angst-ridden expression that screams a mile-long list of profanities but rather than risk further problems with the official — and possible ejection from the game — they offer the official, the crowd in the stadium and the viewers at home the next best thing in the blink of an eye:  They share The Smile. 

I was once sitting courtside for a Celtics-76ers game at the old Spectrum in Philadelphia.  The late, great referee Earl Strom called a foul on Kevin McHale.  McHale in his signature style went nuts:  His arms spread wide open, eyes bulging out and all of it through a big, cheesy smile.  Strom looked right at him, smiled right back, and said emphatically, “Kevin, you wipe that smile off your face or I’m running you right out of here.”  McHale stopped smiling.

But you see they have to give The Smile because that’s pretty much all that’s allowed within the rules.  When they deviate from The Smile and allow a bit of colorful prose to trickle out of their mouths or add a few hops and skips, they are summarily tossed from the game.  Then again, a seasoned referee understands The Smile and often tosses them anyway.

For politicians, I believe a different set of rules are in place.  They’re allowed to react any way they please.  If Clinton rips Obama’s position on speaking to world leaders that are enemies of the U.S. and Obama is furious believing she has misrepresented his position, he should look at her and call her out.  Tim Russert isn’t going to eject him from the stage. 

I think it’s high-time Barack, Hillary and John say what’s really on their mind when they get ruffled.  In fact, I’m begging them right now, in this forum, to adopt my Honesty First Policy.

The Honesty First Policy, simply stated, is as follows:  When you get pissed, BE PISSED!!  SHOW US!!  Stop with that infuriating smile.  Good grief, this nauseating little visual has gotten way out of hand.  I mean to tell you, it’s like a virus gone airborne.  And being that it’s only March 1, the amount of times we’re going to be subjected to The Smile from McCain and either Obama or Clinton before the general election in November is enough to send rational, stable people into political smiling therapy. 

I know it’s not just me that’s sick and tired of that phony, iron pole-up-their-ass look they give when they’ve heard a comment about them or had a statement made directly to them they vehemently disagree with but for the love of all that’s holy, can someone, anyone, just stand up and speak the truth?

The three of them, and the whole bunch that was in the race before being paired down, spit out endless rhetoric about how sincere and honest they are, how they have our best interests at heart, how they are better-suited to run America than their opponent . . . blah, blah, blah.  That’s all fine until the verbal gloves come off during a debate.  Then, just when we should see fire shooting out of their eyeballs, we get Emily Post’s rules of etiquette.  Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Emily Post but there’s no place for her in a debate.

 When these three flip the switch and break into The Smile, it’s sickening.  You know what they’re really thinking.  We know what they’re really thinking.  Everyone in front of a television from Seattle to Sri Lanka knows what they’re really thinking.  But instead of giving us a sincere look into their souls, they muddy it up with expressions Kobe Bryant would envy.

Even the media has picked up on it.  Take one peek at Hannity and Colmes on the Fox News Channel.  If there is anyone better at the daily-double of The Smile coupled with The Laugh than Sean Hannity, I’ve not seen him.  The man gives us a perfect “10″ every time he goes into what I like to call a “Double Hannity.”  He’s so good at it, it’s frightening.

Think about all I’ve offered up and then consider the following exchange.  Which of them, in a debate, would you prefer:

. . . and now, back to our moderator, Anderson Cooper . . .

Cooper:  Senator Obama, last week Senator Clinton said you were an idiot and utterly incapable of holding the office of the President of the United States.  How do you respond to that?

Obama:  (smiling broadly) Well Anderson, I have tremendous respect for Hillary as a Senator and as a human being.  She’s a wonderful wife and mother, she’s smart and to steal her line, it’s an honor to share a stage with her.  However, I would have to respectfully disagree with her on this . . .

OR

. . . and now, back to our moderator, Anderson Cooper . . .

Cooper:  Senator Obama, last week Senator Clinton said you were an idiot and utterly incapable of holding the office of the President of the United States.  How do you–

Obama:  –Look AC, I know what she said.  First of all, let’s get something straight: Let’s all stop the BS about Hillary and her 35 years of experience.  You listen to her long enough and you start thinking she single-handedly ended world hunger, communism and flew to the moon on her own rocket . . .

——————————————————-

Look, I’d much prefer hearing Obama, Clinton and McCain respond with a little fire, sans smile, once in awhile.  I’d be cheering in front of the television to hear one of them, when wholly disagreeing with something, say “HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND . . . WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GETTING YOUR INFORMATION?”

Who wouldn’t love to hear something like that come out of a candidate’s mouth?

As it is, we’re simply going to get more of Barack and “Well, I would respectfully submit to the Senator . . .” and Clinton offering “I hold Barack in the highest regard . . .” and McCain premising seemingly everything he says with “My friends . . .”

Can’t one of you, even just once, throw a little Pacino into a debate response?  Maybe something like “. . . YOU’RE OUT OF ORDER, HE’S OUT OF ORDER, THIS WHOLE DEBATE’S OUT OF ORDER!”

obama/clinton photo, courtesy dailymail.co.uk

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