By Christopher Gabriel
Blog Harbor and CGabriel.com

In the 26 years I spent as a professional stage actor, I must have worked with at least 1,000 actors, if not a few more.  And in the case of nearly every one of them, there was always the inevitable closing night party conversation regarding staying in touch.  You know the one, when a play is ending or if you’re leaving your job, your family is moving to a different state, you’re doing a six-month stay on the International Space Station . . . something along those lines, and you hook up with every last person in your given situation exchanging hugs, kisses and emphatic vows to stay in touch!

And do you stay in touch?

I mention this because of the friend I lunched with today.  My most recent radio job was at a station here in the Twin Cities, WFMP.  The more common name is FM107.  When the station and I parted ways, there must have been two dozen people I shared hugs and kisses with while emphatically insisting we’d stay in touch!

And did we stay in touch? 

The one exception to the Norm of Separation is a talented gentleman named Paul Black . . . or, Paulie, as I call him.  He likes me calling him Paulie because he believes it gives him a rougher image; it adds a little street cred to his resume; it even makes him sound a little . . . . . . . . dangerous.  Actually, as a matter of full disclosure, I call him Paulie for no reason in particular.  In fact, I don’t even know if he likes the name.  Maybe I should ask him.  Where was I . . .

As Paulie and I sat in a Bloomington, MN Chinese restaurant munching down bowl after bowl of cheap, but delicious, buffet lunch, he mentioned something that caught me completely off guard.  I asked him if he had read my blog recently.  He said “well, not exactly.”  Curious, I probed further.

It turns out Paulie comes to Blog Harbor about once-a-week, sees if there’s a new post, and . . . If he deems the piece too lengthy, he moves on to a new website.  And with that, my beef and broccoli got a bit chewy.

My Paulie, a dear friend and one of the best people I’ve ever met in radio, has a word quota when he comes to my blog? 

At this point, I probably should have left well-enough alone.  I didn’t.

Although he quickly pointed out he has indeed read several of my previous 36 posts, most, he said, “are just too long.  I scroll down, see how long it is and if it goes on forever, click, I’m done.  Maybe you could write a few sentences previewing the article.” 

Now, lest you think I’m picking on my pal, I’m not.  In fact, he knew I was going to write this tonight; he just didn’t realize I am now going to rip him to shreds and effectively end our friendship.  Of course I’m teasing.  We tease those we care about . . . except my mother-in-law who equates teasing to horrific, mental cruelty.  I digress.

You see, truth be told he’s not the first person to say this to me.  I’ve had a few folks offer me various versions of “your blog is just SO long!”  And it got me to thinking: Is it too long?  Do I write too much?

A quick search around WordPress and Blogger tells me Blog Harbor is insanely long.  Inhumanly long.  The vast majority of blogs I came across were a few paragraphs and not much more. 

And then there’s the blog that’s not really a blog, at least with respect to the written word.  The internet is populated with a number of blogs that have a video as the featured player with a preface that sounds something like this: “Dudes, check out this video . . . this band rocks!”

Even blogs like CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 — several paragraphs . . . done.  Sometimes, several sentences and a picture.

So then, what to do.  Clearly, when one considers the lofty position and enormous responsibility Blog Harbor holds in the literary world, this isn’t just a developing situation, this is the precipice of The Blog Apocalypse (or, TBA, as the experts call it). 

Reportedly, Nostradamus wrote that this day would come.  So did my friend Anthony, in Brooklyn.  Anthony also believes the Empire State Building was brought to Manhattan by an alien craft from the planet Zeldar 7.  I can’t confirm Nostradamus.  But Anthony . . . he insists he once visited Zeldar 7.  Really, who am I to judge? 

Sorry, as soon as I start talking about Nostradamus and Anthony, I get lost in thought.  Where was I . . .

After careful analysis and some painful, searing soul-searching, I’ve concluded the following: I believe there is a core group of people out there, maybe 47, give or take six, that enjoy reading lengthy blogs.  They are the same people who will read a 10 page article in Time, they’ll watch The Godfather and The Godfather: Part II back-to-back without getting up from their chair and they’ll sit through a three hour rain delay at the ballpark even with their team down 10-0.  Like me, they might also sit in their living room during a snowstorm and, with a cup of coffee close by, simply watch the snow fall.  Well, that is to say if there’s actually snow falling.  You do know there’s a weather conspiracy, but I won’t get into that again . . . until next winter.

At the other end of the spectrum, I believe there are millions of people, give or take 3,256, that prefer short, to-the-point blogs.  Blogs that have videos.  Blogs that have lots of pictures.  Blogs that are like a trip to the mall, as they possess a little bit of everything. 

Ultimately though, one must be true to one’s blog self, even when factoring in Paulie’s patience, Nostradamus, Anthony and Zeldar 7, and the fate of blog civilization as we know it.

Perhaps for the next post I’ll live on the edge and take a journey into the blog twilight zone, limiting myself to one paragraph while including a video. 

Ok, I’m breaking into a sweat just thinking about it.  The mere thought is paralyzing, as even the voicemails I leave for people are rarely less than a minute.  Look, I’ve said it many times: Brevity is not my strong-suit.  Nevertheless . . . . . . it may be a step I have to take.  It may turn out to be a cathartic experience.  It may be life-changing.

And what’s the worst thing that could happen?  The 38 faithful readers of Blog Harbor might revolt.  Then again, they might applaud the change.  They might say, “It’s about damn time you made this thing entertaining!”

Fair enough, my course is set.  Next post: One Paragraph . . . One Video.

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