The Farmland Almanac: Thursday, March 5, 2009
Christopher Gabriel | Mar 05, 2009 | Comments 5
with Harrison Beillor
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The Lonely Fish
by Morris Klinkmen
I watched a salmon run today.
He didn’t have shoes,
He wasn’t very fast,
He might have been a she…
How do you know?
I never saw its feet.
Fish don’t have feet…
Do they?
But they run.
How do they do that?
Maybe they have tiny feet.
When I look at a fish,
I feel warm,
I feel complete.
Does a fish feel complete looking at me?
“The Lonely Fish” by Morris Klinkmen. © Big Sky Press, 1923. Reprinted with permission.
It’s the birthday of agriculture scientist and fireworks promoter Wilbur Filtzon Bickley, born outside of Fenwick, England, 1887. His parents were well-known folk singers that also operated a goat farm. Although he didn’t have an interest in music, he enjoyed singing his own made-up songs at night. This didn’t sit well with the goats. One night his singing drove those goats into a rage and they burst into the house searching for Wilbur. Trembling in a hall closet and clutching a bowl of his freshly picked beans, he threw open the door and began pelting the goats with his beans. And much to his surprise, the beans began popping on the goats, like little firecrackers. One year later, he tried to sell those beans to a British gunpowder company but they turned him down…they thought he was nuts. They told him you eat beans, you don’t shoot beans.
***
Eat well, work hard, and give me a call.
PRODUCTION CREDITS
Host: Harrison Beillor
Producer: David Allen
Technical Director: Wendy Gabriel
Inspiration: The Writer’s Almanac, with Garrison Keillor
Photo Credit: http://www.lonelyfish.gr
Filed Under: Featured • Life • Media • Minneapolis • Minnesota • Society • Writing • humor • radio
Yet another gripping installment of The Farmland Almanac. I laughed… I cried… (especially while picturing little Wilbur cowering in the hall closet, desperately trying to fend off the raging goats with his vegetables. I hate beans. I may take to throwing them myself next time I find these offensive little buggers in my kitchen.) I’m getting off track here… What was my point? Oh yes, HILARIOUS.
I shall be contemplating salmon all day long now.
[Reply]
I too sometimes wonder if a fish has feelings. I sometimes look at a fish and feel complete. Then I eat it.
[Reply]
Hello Terri, and thank you for your delightful comment. May I add, the contemplation of salmon is something we should do more often. In my life, it’s faith, family and salmon.
And Mr. Spinkman, it’s very kind of you to stop by. You aren’t related to Ira Spinkman, are you? He was a guest on my old radio program in Montana and during an interview, he spoke fondly of his nephew, Leonard. Probably just a coincidence. I once knew a Leonard Sprinkman…which really doesn’t apply here since you’re Leonard Spinkman.
[Reply]
If I was a fish, I’d definitely be jealous of me.
I’m just saying…..
[Reply]
Mike, you’ve hit upon a pressing issue: Fish envy. It’s running rampant in our society. Still, it’s refreshing to know someone has their finger on the pulse of a crisis like this.
[Reply]