Archive for April, 2009
The Farmland Almanac: Thursday, April 30, 2009
with Harrison Beillor
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]
Jello Mold
by Marty Willoughby
Why do people
Eat jello mold?
I like jello.
I don’t like mold.
Who thought that was
A good idea?
Why don’t they call it
Jello mold spores.
Or jello fungus.
Or jello bacteria surprise.
I don’t like Jello anymore.
“Jello Mold” by Marty Willoughby. © Big Sky Press, 1973. Reprinted with permission.
It’s the birthday of [...]
The End of a Teaching Year
I want to step out of character for a moment and, essentially, step in character. The professional hats I wear are radio talk host, freelance writer and theatre instructor. It’s that last one that gets attention today.
Although I rarely talk about it here, most people who know me understand one of my great passions in life [...]
Eye on Monday: Sneak-a-Peek Cell Phone Technique (video)
I was speaking with a friend the other day about people and their cell phones. Namely, how folks can be in mid-sentence with you, stop abruptly, check their cell for a new text message and then continue talking as if nothing happened. Or, worse, they’ll actually interrupt you to read a text, then send a reply [...]
Gabriel Theatre on the Air: The Pasture
The Pasture
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]
Voices: Christopher Gabriel, Lena Svenson, David Allen
Produced by: Gabriel Radio Network and David Allen Productions
The Farmland Almanac: Thursday, April 23, 2009
with Harrison Beillor
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]
Farm
by Delphina Fanuchi
I stared at a cow today
And he stared back.
I wanted to know
What he was thinking
So I asked him,
What are you thinking Cow?
He didn’t answer.
Maybe he didn’t answer
Because I didn’t know
His name. Maybe I was being rude.
So I asked his name
He walked away.
Cows do that.
“Farm” by Delphina [...]
My Letter to Oprah
Dear Oprah,
So, how are things? Anything new in your life? I haven’t heard from you since . . . well, ever. I email. Nothing. I contact Gail. Nothing. I send you Greek pastries. Nothing. I Tweet to @Oprah. Nothing.
But listen, I don’t want to keep you too long. You’re busy. Just one thing I wanted [...]
Eye on Monday: Greek Easter Can Be Dangerous (video)
As any of you who come to Blog Harbor on a regular basis know, I’m Greek. Greek, as in Greek Orthodox. And while I always celebrate Easter on it’s traditional day, Orthodox Easter follows the Julian Calendar which means, more often than not, Greek Easter is after Passover. So, two Easter dinners. Greek People: It’s [...]
The Batting Cage
As spring is settling in here in Minnesota, summer is in the on-deck circle. And with summer around the corner, this means many things to different people: Going to the beach house at the Jersey Shore every weekend, heading up to the Maine coast, traveling “up north to the cabin” here in our state and [...]
The Farmland Almanac: Thursday, April 16, 2009
with Harrison Beillor
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]
The Duplicity of Coffee
by Stanley Birnbaum
I went for coffee and ordered a small
The barista said
You mean tall.
No, I don’t mean tall. I mean small.
She brought my coffee and said
Here’s your small.
Why must coffee be complex?
Is there really coffee in coffee cake?
Could I get a tall coffee cake?
I asked [...]
Eye on Monday: The Hunt for the Egg (video)
Christopher Gabriel, CGabriel.com
Blog Harbor has been offering posts worthy of the Nobel Prize in Literature since November 11, 2oo7. That’s 11-11 in the event you’re scoring at home. Most recently, audio satires arrived in the form of The Farmland Almanac with Harrison Beillor and the Gabriel Theatre on the Air. Today brings a new day for [...]
The Farmland Almanac: April 9, 2009
with Harrison Beillor
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]
Reflection
by Dumsasa Kingle
I look in the mirror
And I see
Myself.
I see my eyes
When they’re open.
When I shower
The steam fogs the mirror.
Then I can’t see my eyes
And I wonder
Am I still there?
“Reflection” by Dumsasa Kingle. © Big Sky Press, 1971. Reprinted with permission.
It’s the birthday of nutritionist Charlie Spindlecat, born [...]
The Three Minnesota Driving Styles Direct from Hades
Christopher Gabriel, CGabriel.com
I often think it’s me, this uncanny ability I possess that allows me to drive directly behind, or in front of, The Driver Spawned From the Depths of Hades. And for those of you not up on your Greek mythology, Hades was the God of the Underworld, which also went by the same name. Not a [...]
The Krispy Kreme Dilemma
I’ve been having doughnut issues lately. In particular, Krispy Kreme doughnut issues. I’ve been dreaming about them, daydreaming about them, openly discussing them with complete strangers, drawing pictures of them and plotting out the driving distance to the nearest Krispy Kreme from Minneapolis. You see it wasn’t that long ago I only had to travel six miles to grab [...]
Eye on Monday: Baseball 2009
Baseball is back. From Fenway Park and new Yankee Stadium on the east coast to Safeco Field and PETCO Park on the west coast, the scent of brats, dogs, barbecue and beer begins filling stadiums in earnest today.
Some of my fondest memories growing up were the many nights I spent with my family in old [...]
Gabriel Theatre on the Air: The Club
The Club
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]
Voices: Lena Svenson, David Allen, Christopher Gabriel
Produced by: Gabriel Radio Network and David Allen Productions
The Farmland Almanac: Thursday, April 2, 2009
with Harrison Beillor
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]
Melvin’s Farm
by Daisy Kunkler
I went to Melvin’s farm last night
And began counting stars.
I stopped counting at 57.
You see a lot of stars on a farm at night.
More than 57.
But I got tired
Of counting stars
I started counting sheep
I like Melvin’s sheep. A lot.
Melvin’s sheep don’t say much
That made me [...]
Blog Harbor Awarded Nobel Prize
STOCKHOLM (AP) — It was announced today that Minneapolis-based Blog Harbor has been awarded a Nobel Prize in Literature. In an official statement from Gerhardt Lindstrom, the new acting Secretary of the Swedish Academy, he noted “Blog Harbor has brought a refreshing change in the way we view this new form of literature known as [...]
