I leave for work every morning at 6:30 a.m. with the drive approximately five miles.  Requiring 12 to 16 ounces of coffee before making contact with other human beings at the radio station – this is for their benefit – I stop at one of the major Midwest coffee house chains since it’s directly on the way. 

After what became my third episode of annoying, indifferent and ridiculously slow service, I no longer go to that particular chain. 

I now, happily, drive out of my way to a different coffee house where the workers are delightful; always a kind word or several, a little light banter and a sincere smile as they say “Have a great day.”

There are far too many restaurants, retail stores and coffee houses – not to mention customer service reps on the phone - with workers who simply don’t give a hoot about the one thing that keeps their doors open:  Customers.  And I don’t necessarily blame them.  The Nasties can’t help themselves.  No, it’s the fault of the person doing the hiring.

When hosting these 45-minute interviews, it seems more important to hirers to fill a spot rather than to fill a need.  And make no mistake – there is a desperate need in this country for better, more polite customer service. 

No criminal record?  Can you speak?  Are you moderately well-groomed?  Wonderful – you’re hired!  Can you start tomorrow?

I realize there are plenty of customers who treat servers in restaurants, clerks in clothing stores or customer service reps on the phone with condescension.  And that kind of behavior is equally out of line.  But I’m tired of talking with someone at the phone company or dealing with someone in a coffee house that treats me, and everyone else, with barely contained disdain.

And when your rudeness gets called out, don’t act so surprised.  Please spare me the shock and the “you’re kidding, right?” look on your face.

At my former coffee stop on the way to work, I got to the drive-thru window as the only car in line.  Further, there wasn’t a car being served at the actual window.  Even more – there wasn’t a single car in the parking lot.  Put another way, there wasn’t another soul in the place. 

I sat at that speaker for nearly three minutes.  Waiting.  Patiently.  I didn’t blow my horn and I didn’t just drive up to the window.  And while I’ve certainly had my moments over the years (translation: I’ve not always been the model customer), I’ve been nothing less than gracious and patient at this place in my previous visits.

Finally, the gal came on and took my order.  I wanted black coffee and nothing more.  The previous two times I’d been to this place, it was the same story with the same gal and she’s one of three working there at the time I’m there.  What are these people doing inside?  Are there slot machines?  Live music?  Morning yoga with a personal trainer?  What, exactly, prevents these gals from getting to the customer in anything remotely resembling a reasonable amount of time?

After taking my order, I mumbled to myself in the most casual tone “I just can’t believe how slow they are here.”  Almost immediately, the gal replied through the speaker “Sir, we can still hear you.”

I was caught and I was thrilled about it.  Game on.

I said “Terrific, let’s chat at the window.”

When I got up there, she looked at me as though I had just ripped off a profanity-laced tirade.  She said “I don’t think you’re being fair, sir..I have to tell you, sir, I get tired of people dissing us saying that we’re slow.”

Well my dear, therein lies the problem. 

I said to her as nicely as I could, “Maybe…just maybe…people are ‘dissing you,’ as you put it, because you are slow.”

I proceeded to give her a recitation of the terrible service, with accompanying rudeness, I had gotten at her store.  And that it always came from her.  And that it wasn’t the least bit warranted. 

Further, when there isn’t another person in the place, there is absolutely no excuse for a customer to spend three-to-five minutes trying to make it through the drive-thru for a cup of black coffee.  Not when there’s three people working.

I don’t hesitate to write lengthy letters to a store’s owner or general manager when I get wonderful service.  Similarly, I’m just as quick to write one pointing out terrible service.

I wrote one to this coffee house.  Not surprisingly, I didn’t receive a response. 

I have a suspicion whomever does the hiring doesn’t have the slightest idea he/she has a dreadfuly ill-suited employee in his store who should be kept several hundred miles away from ever having to deal directly with live customers. 

It’s never hard to figure out the store that’s happy to hire any type of character from the store seeking to hire people with character.

photo credit: Gwen’s River City Images