I’ve been long overdue to get down to the Red River. After watching, reading and hearing about what happened in the Fargo-Moorhead area this past winter, I needed to meet the river, face-to-face. It was imperative I gathered myself, geared up and did some hard riding to learn what makes this river tick.
Lacking my own heavy-duty, trail-worthy mountain bike but feeling relatively secure in my manhood, I borrowed the wheels from a certain five-year-old girl who lives under the same roof as me.
Actually, “borrowed” may not be wholly accurate. Let’s just say a bargain was struck and I wasn’t even present to vote on it.
Until today I was unaware of the Wheels for Ice Cream bill, passed in the Gabriel House just this morning. The bill is very simple:
- One scoop would allow me 30 minutes on the bike.
- Two scoops would get me an hour.
- Three or more scoops and I get unlimited time on the bike, plus…she goes to bed the second I ask her. No debate, no stalling, no tantrums.
There was, however, a small item on page 117 of the bill – the final page dealing with the three-scoop option – that gave me cause for concern: If she doesn’t finish all three scoops, the “goes to bed the second I ask her” language is thrown out.
I rode for 60 minutes. She ate her two scoops while I sprawled out on a picnic table with ice packs on my knees.
About the Author: Christopher serves up the news of the day, politics, sports, pop culture, films, music and the quirky side of life with distinguished guests and contributors from across the nation and around the world. He tackles the most complex issues to stories slightly off the radar delivering depth and humor with a thoughtful perspective. When he was in Fargo, North Dakota, the program was nominated for Best Radio Show in the Red River Valley in 2012, 2013 and 2014 by readers of The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead. As a writer, Christopher's work has been been published by the Chicago Sun-Times, Sun-Times Network publications, Reuters, USA Volleyball and Team USA, the Official Website of the U.S. Olympic Committee.